March Of The Pigs

Yet another damnable long absence...

Just a quick apology for going A.W.O.L. (Afflicted With ‘Orrible Lurgee). Basically, I got the wretched Swine Flu... or Bird Flu... or Flying Pig Flu. Whatever. Wasn’t precisely top of the list of things I was intending to do but there you go.

Still, more amusing than Horne and Corden’s recent comedy outing.

So, not all bad then.

Three things I’d say about the wretched thing (swine flue that is) are- it is...
• annoying,
• time-consuming,
• boring.

I’ve had it around 3-4 weeks and I’m having trouble shaking off the final symptoms (sore throat, aching joints, etc.). I’ve lost my voice (which anyone who’s ever met me would probably maintain is a good thing) and a lot of weight. I would have loved to use the time watching endless films but I’ve been mainly unable to stay awake for long enough. Bizarrely, I’ve also lost the ability to taste tea and toast- not bread, just toast. This has happened before- I was forced to, ugh, drink coffee instead. I won’t be doing that again! And it took six long months to revert.

Anyway, enough about me... you now have a choice of viewing...

Eric and Ern with Peter Cushing failing to keep a straight face in some classic silliness (that still manages to be more realistic and mythologically accurate than a certain BBC series)...

...and for those of you with a more nervous disposition: Trent Reznor, loud noises and some swearing...

1994, Peter Christopherson.

Let Chaos reign but first... Tamiflu and cakes...

Positive Thinking

Well, the deadline for the Red Planet Prize has come and now gone… and despite nearly giving up on several occasions in the past few weeks I did finally get something in the post- though it was a very close run thing. It has prompted me to offer the following advice- try not to completely change projects 4 weeks before the deadline! (Annoyingly this didn’t leave enough time to farm it out to herds of people for criticism.)

To some people writing comes naturally and they can probably carry off this sort of thing. Unfortunately I’m not one of them: I find this writing lark pure hard graft- emotionally draining and physically exhausting. And frustratingly I don’t have the first idea whether I’m actually any good at this writing thing in the first place- so for all I know I might just be wasting time that I could instead be spending on my plan for ‘total world domination in the next five years’. So, I’ve had to maintain radio silence for the last few weeks to keep up the work rate- that and it gives away position to the U-Boats! Now, as a contingency for the (highly unlikely) event that I receive the call for the full episode, I now have 4 weeks to write the remaining 45 pages. What fun.

However, to all those who got something in and will spend the next few weeks anxiously waiting for results, cleaning, tidying and generally buffing up their pilots; and all those that couldn’t get anything ready for this year and are already thinking of something for next year, I dedicate the following from The Magnificent Two…

…and by a staggering coincidence this, for the time being, is a rather nice response to the recent meme (“a song that sums up what you think it means to be a writer and post the lyrics and why you've chosen it”) which various people have left as 'open tags' (and especially Elinor). I suggest it’s less about the being a writer and more about the continuing as a writer. I’m sure I have another song that is a better answer for the task but for the moment…

“When you feel down, try positive thinking,
That’s what I told them and said,
Don’t wear a frown, try positive thinking,
Laugh at your troubles instead.

You’ve got to look on the bright side,
On hope so much depends,
With your confidence sinking, positive thinking,
Helps you on the way my friend.

When things look black, try positive thinking,
Treat every season as spring,
No glancing back, try positive thinking,
Trust what tomorrow may bring.

This crazy world what we live in,
Will keep on spinning round,
But with good, strong, positive thinking,
We’ll get together and life won’t let us down.”