"Art is not a mirror with which to reflect the world; it is a hammer with which to shape it"

Monday, 6 December 2010

No Snow, No Show

Just one simple question....

Where - WHERE! - is my snow?

Everybody else got some why didn't I?

That's a bit of a lie - there was a half inch mid-week.

Then it rained.

And it evaporated (alright, technically melted).

I have a green lawn.

I don't want a green lawn. I'd rather like a pretty white one. You know, like what I've seen on the tele and all.

I still have flowers on the rose bushes - admittedly they got caught by the frost a while back and I'm too lazy to excise them but... they still bear the impression of being flowers, just sort of freeze-dried versions.

There's a lot of water about.

It sits on the road all frozen and treacherous (i.e. plotting to overthrow Her Madge, Gawd bless Her Royal Majestic Highnessness). The temperature outside shames my refridgerator. And the cold has got into all the joints I've generally broken, dislocated or otherwise misplaced over the years.

Guess what I'm saying here is: I've got all the bad bits of Winter without the one redeeming feature. Pretty white stuff coating everything. Pristine by day, glowing by night and muffling the world's infernal din for the duration.

Of course, I know why I don't get snow in quite the same way or at the same time as others: to the East, the Cotswolds; to the North, the Malverns; to the South, more Cotswolds; to the West, the Forest of Dean and Welsh Mountains. By the time the clouds pass over these they can be a bit spent.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I want the eight foot drifts and 'Traffic Chaos'. But three or four inches that sticks around long enough so as to say 'Winter has come and you do actually live in the same country as everybody else', well, that might be nice.

But before anyone thinks 'how dare you complain about having it easy', just remember when all that snow melts the water has to go somewhere... an' roun' 'ere we call tha' floodin'.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Boring Update

I had intended the next post to be about Red Planet but instead, a couple of weeks back, I went ass over tip in the bathroom (not the most forgivingly cushioned part of a house) and cracked a couple of ribs. Haven’t bothered taking them to the doctor because, firstly, it feels exactly the same as the last time I did it (so it’s a safe assumption it’s the exact same thing) and, secondly, there’s precisely nothing that can be done anyway: just have to sit it out for a couple of months. Anyway, leaning forward over a laptop is not the most excessively comfortable thing right now.

Apologies for being so boring. However, in recompense, here’s a clip of two cracking Welshmen performing a right good version of a Manics’ song...

Further boring updates as and when.

Saturday, 31 July 2010

General Rejoicing!

Well, I really didn’t think I’d be in the reasonably happy position of seeing that screen. I’ll save the details for why ‘till later. But I’m just glad to see that screen. (And yes, I know I should be using Firefox!)

So, the 10 pages are in, they’ve got an all Sondheim programme with Bryn Terfel on the Proms right now, Misfits later, it’s a Grand Prix weekend, the cats have finally been fed (might even feed myself), sheep may safely graze and all is right with the world.... well, until tomorrow morning...

“We are on the brink of a new era if only...”

Monday, 12 July 2010

The Sequel

So.... it’s been a while, ain’t it?

Not dead yet.

It’ll take more than life to kill me.

Hope you missed me. To be honest I didn’t hear too much wailing or gnashing of teeth and where on earth was the rending of garments? Guess there’s a recession on....

Basically, I’ve been busy and, annoyingly, an old illness snuck up on me, jumped me in the car park and, let’s just say, a fracas ensued... all a bit like Philo Beddoe against Wilson in the end of that film.

Hope you enjoyed my shamelessly bumping my post count up but I noticed I was perilously close to the ton and, lo, this is “Post 101”: the worst post in the world? It’s Post Zero.... a new start. Hopefully, I’ll be posting a little more often but I’m not going to make promises I can’t keep. But I’ll try and get something up when I’ve got the spare energy; though it would be nice to have some energy to start with, spare or otherwise.

I haven’t been keeping up with what people have been splurging out their brainpans of late so if I cover anything already dealt with or tread on someone’s toes I can only apologize in advance.



You can cut and paste that into your eyes each time I screw up...

I still haven’t worked out what on earth this site’s for but it’s not stopped the other three billion internet-active people in the world from blathering away endlessly about nothing whatsoever (especially those who comment on YouTube). The only question that remains is shall I tell the truth or lie prolifically and tell you extraordinary and exciting tales from my amazingly exceptional and event-packed life.

I shall consult my monkey-butler once I get out this champagne-filled gilt-lined zero-gravity Jacuzzi-pool...